(pb; 2009: humor book)
From the back cover:
"No one understands the complexities of modern life better than Eugene Mirman - claims Eugene Mirman - and anyone seeking guidance from the man who has lived through everything (except for the Great Depression, the Spanish-American War, and Jerry Lee Lewis's sex scandal) won't resist this charmingly hysterical guidebook.
• Become Ultrapopular in High School (Without 'Putting Out' - Whatever That Is)
• Discover Somewhere Between Four and Two Thousand Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety (Closer to Four)
• Start a Band, Become an Artist, or Disappoint Your Parents By Getting a Reality Television Show"
Will is an offbeat, sometimes bizarre and dark, and consistently funny book - just like Mirman's stand-up comedy routines and his work on television (e.g., as "Gene" on the animated show Bob's Burgers).
If you're not a fan of Mirman's output, know that he regularly riffs on subjects like politics, pop culture, religion and sex with fearless abandon - while he's nowhere near as focused and raw as Doug Stanhope, Bill Hicks or comedians of that ilk, he is still willing to go beyond the norm-pale for a (sometimes) dark punchline.
• "There's even a common belief in many countries (mostly Japan and Nigeria) that cats write love poems to each other. Silly foreigners - no they don't."
•"If you want to go on the street in your torn leather pants and hand a flyer to a slut, you go right ahead - that's metal. Hiring a girl (even if it's Sigourney Weaver) to send e-mails to random people that mimic the marketing strategy of ringtone companies is not metal, and your band should be put to death (the obvious punishment for betraying the Devil-God of Metal - which on earth is manifested in the physical form of Scott Ian's goatee)."
•"Nobody likes it when a farmer punches a chicken (though punched chickens taste the best), but to insist that chickens have the right to avoid self-incrimination in court? That's too much, Mr. Hippie. Plus, drug-dealing chickens shouldn't have an easy way out - they f**ked up; they do the time. If some chicken molests a little boy (even a bully), you're telling me it should have a fair trial? F**k that. Prison, Mr. Chicken."
Worth checking out, this.