Monday, April 15, 2013

Flesh, by Richard Laymon

(pb; 1987)


From the back cover:

"No one in town has ever seen anything like it before: a slimy, mobile tube of glistening yellow flesh with dull, staring eyes and an obscene, probing mouth.  But the real horror is not what it looks like, or even what it does to you when it invades your flesh - but what it makes you do to others. . ."


Review:

Solid, fun horror read, with plenty of cheesy sex, grue and violence.  While Laymon didn't provide a lot of information about the strange yellow creature's past, he provided enough for me to enjoy Flesh as a short, sharp and sometimes nasty genre work.

Worth checking out, this.

Friday, April 05, 2013

Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson & Learned to Love Being Hated, by Alison Arngrim

(hb; 2010: autobiography)


From the inside flap:

"For seven years, Alison Arngrim played a wretched, scheming selfish, lying, manipulative brat on one of TV history's most beloved series.  Though millions of  Little House on the Prairie viewers hated Nellie Oleson and her evil antics, Arngrim grew to love her character - and the freedom and confidence Nellie inspired in her.

"In Confessions of a Prairie Bitch, Arngrim describes growing up in Hollywood with her eccentric parents: Thor Arngrim, a talent manager to Liberace and others, whose appetite for publicity was insatiable, and legendary voice actress Norma MacMillan, who played both Gumby and Casper the Friendly Ghost.  She recalls her most cherished and often wickedly funny moments behind the scenes of Little House:  Michael Landon's 'unsaintly' habit of not wearing underwear; how she and Melissa Gilbert (who played her TV nemesis, Laura Ingalls) became best friends and accidentally got drunk on rum cakes at 7-Eleven; and the only time she and Katherine "Scottie" MacGregor (who played Nellie's mom) appeared in public in costume, provoking a posse of elementary schoolgirls to attack them.

"Arngrim relays all this and more with biting wit, but she also bravely recounts her life's challenges: her struggle to survive a history of traumatic abuse, depression, and paralyzing shyness; the 'secret' her father kept from her for twenty years; and the devastating loss of her "Little House husband" and best friend Steve Tracy, to AIDS, which inspired her second career in social and political activism.  Arngrim describes how Nellie Oleson taught her to be bold, daring and determined, and how she is eternally grateful to have had the biggest bitch on the prairie show her the way."

Review:

Interesting, solid, heartfelt book.  Arngrim's humor lightens some of the heavier, non-graphic parts relating to her emotional and sexual abuse at the hands of her brother, and adds a welcome zing to her account of her curious life.

Good read from an admirable, funny woman.  Check it out.

Monday, April 01, 2013

A Bite of the Apple: A Collection of Romantic Erotica, by Robert Buckley

(hb; 2002: erotica anthology)


From the inside flap:

"If you're hungry for great erotic stories with a twist of the romantic, you'll love A Bite of the Apple.  Each of the 24 short stories in this sensual collection is a lush, romantic gem, sure to spur you on to your own sensuous adventures. . ."



Overall review:

This is one of the best erotic-romantic (or, if you prefer, romantica) anthologies I've ever read.  Buckley's works are perfused with an innate Frank Capra-esque humanity and warmth that most writers - myself included - (probably) wish they possessed, as well the talent to mix and match it with a variety of moods (in this anthology it's romantic, though I've read his edgier works, as well). 

This humane quality, as shown by this stylistically diverse collection, is especially all-too-rare in the erotica genre, where too many authors confuse the human tangle of limbs, torsos and 'wet' orifices for emotional connection, but forget about the smaller (and just as important) actions that express love that lends itself to deeper, longer-lasting connections.


I wish I had written this anthology - something I say not with envy, but with the utmost admiration.  (That's one of the highest praises I can give a book, especially one where every story 'nails it'.)

Worth owning, of course.


Standout stories:


1.)  "A Bite of the Apple":  An apple grove owner (Lainey Allen) makes key decisions about her career, and a possible lover.


2.)  "Forgive Me Father":  Witty, world-wise trio of Catholic confessions.  Still chuckling over this one.


3.)  "Eating Out at Annie's":  Flirty tale about a diner and two lusty-at-heart lovers.


4.)  "Convenience Store":  A graveyard shift minimart employee encounters some truly strange stuff in this surreal, hilarious piece.


5.)  "Chance Encounter": Passionate, sweet-humored entry about a lonely librarian (Lorna Delaney) and a mourner (Alec) at a nearby grave.


6.)  "Rules of Engagement":  The Honeymooners meets carnal hilarity in this piece, about a loud, semi-public argument between a wife (Dannie) and her husband (Matt), which goes over-the-top in a loving, bawdy way.


7.)  "Twitch":  An ambush of a blind date leads to a contentious and delightfully lively coupling.


8.)  "The Magic Lesbian":  A bar owner (Joe Canarski) fends off an aggressive buy-out offer from a business rival.  Instantly immersive, feels-like-you're-there work.


9.)  "Fortune's Fool":  This is an especially good, laugh-out-loud karmic tale about a hospitalized sports writer, a celebrity football player and fickle sports fans.


10.)  "Portrait":  A painter's portrait subject reveals more than artistic longing.


11.)  "A Fare of the Heart":  One of the best tales in this bunch.  A cabbie (James) and his fare ( a neglected wife named Ann) have an empathetic conversation about their circumstances and her marriage.


12.)  "Invisible":  Gut wrench-effective story about a couple whose marriage has hit some particular damaging rocks.


13.)  "The Night the Stars Fell":  A sexually neglected husband wrestles with the possibility of cheating on his otherwise occupied wife.  Another emotionally effective story, with some joy thrown in, as well.


Other stories:

"Making Her Late For Work"; "Crazy"; "Stuck"; "Imparting Wisdom"; "Mrs. Godiva"; "Corner Booth"; "The Battle of Twin Peaks"; "The Other Man"; " 'O' No"; "Infidelity"; "Backrub"


Sacrifice by John Everson

(pb; 2007: second book in The Curburide Chronicles)


From the back cover:

"They are coming.  They are a race of sadistic spirits known as the Curburide, and they are about to arrive in our world, bringing with them horrors beyond imagination.  The secret to summoning - and controlling - them has fallen into the hands of a beautiful, sexy and dangerously insane woman.

"Ariana has dedicated her life to unleashing the demons in our realm through a series of human sacrifices, erotic rituals of seduction and slaughter.  As she crosses the country, getting ever closer to completing her blood-drenched mission, only three figures stand in her way: an unwilling hero who has seen the horrors of the Curburide before, a burgeoning witch. . . and a spiteful demon with plans of his own."



Review:

I love reading sequels like this - follow-up tales that not only show the further adventures of characters I've grown fond of (or am fascinated by), but up the ante of the plot proceedings, while reworking the structure of the previous tale(s) into new storyline configurations.

Sacrifice accomplishes this, with seeming ease.  Like Covenant, it's a burn-through-that-sucker read, one with an ending that deftly avoids leave-room-for-a-sequel horror clichés (though he could easily continue this series if he wanted to).

Great, genre-veracious read.  Worth owning, this.


Followed by Redemption.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life, by Eugene Mirman

(pb; 2009: humor book)


From the back cover:

"No one understands the complexities of modern life better than Eugene Mirman - claims Eugene Mirman - and anyone seeking guidance from the man who has lived through everything (except for the Great Depression, the Spanish-American War, and Jerry Lee Lewis's sex scandal) won't resist this charmingly hysterical guidebook.

" • Become Ultrapopular in High School (Without 'Putting Out' - Whatever That Is)

" • Discover Somewhere Between Four and Two Thousand Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety (Closer to Four)

" • Start a Band, Become an Artist, or Disappoint Your Parents By Getting a Reality Television Show"


Review:

Will is an offbeat, sometimes bizarre and dark, and consistently funny book - just like Mirman's stand-up comedy routines and his work on television (e.g., as "Gene" on the animated show Bob's Burgers). 

If you're not a fan of Mirman's output, know that he regularly riffs on subjects like politics, pop culture, religion and sex with fearless abandon - while he's nowhere near as focused and raw as Doug Stanhope, Bill Hicks or comedians of that ilk, he is still willing to go beyond the norm-pale for a (sometimes) dark punchline. 

For example:

• "There's even a common belief in many countries (mostly Japan and Nigeria) that cats write love poems to each other.  Silly foreigners - no they don't."

•"If you want to go on the street in your torn leather pants and hand a flyer to a slut, you go right ahead - that's metal.  Hiring a girl (even if it's Sigourney Weaver) to send e-mails to random people that mimic the marketing strategy of ringtone companies is not metal, and your band should be put to death (the obvious punishment for betraying the Devil-God of Metal - which on earth is manifested in the physical form of Scott Ian's goatee)."

•"Nobody likes it when a farmer punches a chicken (though punched chickens taste the best), but to insist that chickens have the right to avoid self-incrimination in court?  That's too much, Mr. Hippie.  Plus, drug-dealing chickens shouldn't have an easy way out - they f**ked up; they do the time.  If some chicken molests a little boy (even a bully), you're telling me it should have a fair trial?  F**k that.  Prison, Mr. Chicken."

Worth checking out, this.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Lords of Salem by Rob Zombie with B.K. Evenson


(hb; 2013)


From the inside flap:

"Heidi Hawthorne is a thirty-seven-year-old FM radio DJ and a recovering drug addict.  Struggling with her newfound sobriety and creeping depression, Heidi suddenly receives an anonymous gift at the station - a mysteriously shaped wooden box branded with a strange symbol.  Inside the box is a promotional record for a band that identifies themselves as The Lords.  There is no other information.

"She decides to play it on the radio show as a joke, and the moment she does, horrible things begin to happen.  The strange music unleashes something evil in the town.  Soon enough, terrifying murders begin to happen all around Heidi.  Who are The Lords?  What do they want?

"Now, as old bloodlines are awakened and the bodies start to pile up, only one thing seems certain - all hell is about to break loose."


Review:

Lords is a compelling, entertaining read, with its engaging characters and its graphic, jubilant and orgiastic bloodshed.  While it's not the grimmest horror novel I've read, its unrepentant and unflinching unveiling of viscous, carnal violence makes many other like-genre books pale in comparison.

Zombie and Evenson weave elements of humor, Ira Levin's Rosemary's Baby and the Norwegian black metal genre into this feels-like-a-Seventies-horror-flick novel, making it even more fun.

Worth owning, this.

#

The film version is scheduled for theatrical release on April 19, 2013.  Co-author Rob Zombie scripted and directed the film.

Sheri Moon Zombie played Heidi Hawthorne.  Bruce Davison played Francis Matthias.  Jeff Daniel Phillips, billed as Jeffrey Daniel Phillips, played Herman Whitey Salvador.  Ken Foree played Herman Jackson.   Ernest Thomas played Chip Freakshow McDonald. 

Michael Berryman played Virgil Magnus.  Sid Haig played Dean Magnus.   Maria Conchita Alonso played Alice Matthias.  Dustin Quick played Masie Mather. 

Judy Geeson played Lacy Doyle. Patricia Quinn played Megan.  Dee Wallace played Sonny.  Meg Foster played Margaret Morgan.  Brandon Cruz played Ted Delta.  Torsten Voges played Count Gorgann.  Niko Posey played Cerina Hooten.  Lisa Marie played Priscilla Reed.

Maria Olsen played a "Dream Sequence Woman".  Diana Hart played another "Dream Sequence Woman".  Flo Lawrence played a "Witch".  Silvia Moore played another "Witch".

Barbara Crampton, in deleted scenes, played Virginia Cable.  Udo Kier, in deleted scenes, played Matthew Hopkins.  Camille Keaton, in deleted scenes, played Doris Von Fux.  Clint Howard, in deleted scenes, played Carlo Caravaggio. Richard Lynch, in deleted scenes, played Reverend John Hawthorne. 

Daniel Roebuck, in deleted scenes, played The Frankenstein Monster.  Christopher Knight, in deleted scenes, played Keith 'Lobster Joe' Williams.  

Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Owl by Alvin G. Burstein

(pb; 2012: novelette)


Review:

When college professor Lou Meade is accosted by a talking owl - a familiar of the Greek deity Athena, "goddess of wisdom, the practical arts, and warfare, and the protectress of cities"* - it's the first moment in his new life phase, an era that will lead him further into the works of author C.S. Lewis and intellectual warfare against Eris, the wily Greek goddess of discord.

Burstein's writing is straightforward, episodic, smart and exciting in a dry-humored way, which serves this atypical, Lewisesque work well. 

Readers of Lewis and gentler, clean cut-to-it readers of fantasy would do well to own this 70-page "neo-Pagan Fantasy" (as Burstein subtitles this intriguing work).  Don't expect the epic bombast and graphic grimness of George R.R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, but do expect to be entertained in a cerebral, sometimes phantasmagorical manner.

Worth owning, this.  You can purchase it here.

[*The Free Dictionary.com]

#

Burstein's earlier, much-shorter work  - The crawfish boil - graced the Microstory A Week site on January 11, 2012.  If you haven't read this story, check it out!

Covenant by John Everson

(pb; 2004, 2008: first book in The Curburide Chronicles)


From the back cover:

"To the residents of the sleepy coastal town of Terrel, the cliffs of Terrel's Peak are a deadly place, an evil place where terrible things happen.  Like a series of mysterious teen suicides over the years, all on the same date.  Or other deaths, usually reported as accidents.  Could it be a coincidence?  Or is there more to it?  Reporter Joe Kieran is determined to find the truth.

"Kieran's search will lead him deep into the town's hidden past, a past filled with secrets and horror, and to the ruins of the old lighthouse atop the tragic cliffs.  He will uncover rumors and whispered legends - including the legend of the evil entity that lives and waits in the caves below Terrel's Peak."


Review:


This novel - winner of the Bram Stoker Award - has a familiar set-up (small coastal town horror, sacrifices disguised as suicides and accidents, outsider digging through town's dark past, etc.), but Everson's taut tale-telling, emotionally complex characters and the natural panache of his writing render any criticism of the set-up's familiarity moot. 

Everson clearly knows that he's using ideas that have provided the skeletons of many other horror novels, but like most above-average writers, he's toying with these (possible) clichés in a masterful, all-thrills way.

There are no wasted words in this burn-through read of a horror tale, a tale that has an ending that could either be a chilling finish or a natural set-up for a sequel. 

Worth owning, this.

Followed by Sacrifice.

#

Additional note: Covenant could also provide the basis for an excellent cult b-movie, if the right talent made it, e.g. the film version of Jack Ketchum's Offspring (sequel to Ketchum's Off Season).

Monday, March 11, 2013

The Terror, by Dan Simmons

(pb: 2007)


From the back cover:

"The men on board The H.M.S. Terror - part of the ill-fated 1845 Franklin Expedition - are entering the second summer in the Arctic Circle without a thaw, stranded on a nightmarish landscape of ice and desolation.  Endlessly cold, they struggle to survive with poisonous rations and a dwindling coal supply.  But their real enemy is even more terrifying.  There is something out there in the frigid darkness: an unseen predator stalking their ship, a monstrous terror clawing to get in."


Review:

The Terror is an epic-sprawl tale, not only a supernatural horror work, but one of human and elemental horror and, ultimately, redemption for some.

Though this resounding novel does, on occasion, get chatty with its vivid details, it's still easily one of the best long-read novels (955 pages long) that I've encountered in a long while. 


Worth owning, this.

#

Set to air sometime in 2014, a television miniseries, based on the book, is being developed by AMC.  According to Fangoria and IMDb, David Kajganich is writing the screenplay.

(I'll update this review/movie notice when I have more time, and more information becomes available.)

Monday, March 04, 2013

**One of my erotic microstories, Corporate Roach Facility, 1999, was published last week

One of my erotic stream-of-consciousness microstories, Corporate Roach Facility, 1999 – c**krocked, was published in issue #5 of the online magazine, Pink Litter.

Corporate is a Sapphic fluff piece with darkish overtones, involving a scientist, a security guard, hentai, BDSM and an insectile soundtrack.


Check this story out, if you're a legal adult and so inclined!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Eros For Various Voices by Peter Baltensperger

(pb; 2006: erotic story anthology)


Overall review:

The sexually diverse stories in this anthology favor a intellectualized, cosmic mindset that often pushes Nature to the forefront of these romantic, sometimes experimental works.

I read this collection the same way I enjoy any other story anthology: I read a few tales a day, set the book down and mentally digested the works.  Eros is not meant to be read straight through, without breaks - though one clearly can, given its reiterated themes, experimentation and (possible) character links.

The themes of these twenty-four stories run along these lines - there's the Nature-reverent works, many of them scene-sketch pieces (e.g., "Forest Secrets", "Moonrise Over the Ocean", "Woman as a Landscape" and "Nocturne"), woman or man recounts their sex partner-history (e.g., "Just Another Birthday", "Waiting with Julia" and "The Black Widow") and pushing the narrative boundaries (e.g., "Thinking of Breasts", which made me think of Chuck Palahniuk's analytical, page-bound tendencies, or "Bus Stop", which describes an impromptu stranger-bang, without giving any backstory, or what life consequences may have resulted from the encounter).

In the past, these sketch pieces would have caused my editorial sensibilities to recoil, but Baltensperger makes them work - another example of before you break or bend the rules, know the rules. . . which this author clearly does, making said sketch pieces succeed.

This classy anthology - shot through with loving, larger-than-us sentiments - is worth owning, if you, as a reader, are willing to think beyond the usual sex story clichés and limited focus of many of those genre works.


Standout stories:

1.)  "A Matter of Time": A divorced couple (Mick and Sylvia) mentally process their relatively new life changes.  Excellent, in its emotional potency and restraint.


2.)  "Small Favors":  A woman (Rose Miller) blossoms in a sexually diverse way via a succession of lovers, before discovering a less ephemeral, equally carnal veracity to satisfy her.


3.)  "Expectations":  A cautionary tale about two lovers (Bernice and Conrad), whose carnal time together may be supervened by their life choices.  Exemplary story, more emotionally complex than most lustworks I've read in a long while.


4.)  "The Mechanic":  Hank, a repairman-inventor, gets a job at a private mechanized sex club (Ecstasy House) and revels in his work.


5.)  "A Quick and Easy Death":  A death fetishist details another lover's end-of-life cycle, while preparing himself for her gentle physical demise.

While this story will definitely prove squickable - disturbing - to some mainstream erotica readers, Baltensperger imbues this work with a dark, almost Gothic romanticism that makes "Quick" not entirely disturbing for this reader.  Bravo.